Monday blues

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Monday. A new week starts after being sick for many days, unable to sleep due to this persistent cold I carried with me from Spain.

My arrivals to Bangkok are always hard as it usually takes me 24 hours to get here from Spain and I can see my body is not so good as it once was at handling jet lag.

Add my congested nose, the now big belly I sport, how much the tenant inside is moving and kicking these days and you get a perfect cocktail for lack of sleep.

In any case, I am finally feeling good today and looking forward to start everything that was on hold here in Bangkok because I lacked the energy: meeting friends, going back to prenatal Pilates classes, looking for a Thai language school, stepping up my writing, finishing my web design portfolio.

It is all good but… all these big plans seem fuzzy and somehow unimportant all of the sudden. I am surprised, wondering why, why these things I wanted so much look as just nice to have today.

And then it hits me. I close my eyes and remember how hard she was kicking in my belly this morning, how persistently. And I remember too the little newborn baby we saw at the hospital yesterday, tiny and crying, yet bigger than life.

And I realize that I only have 3 months left, that I am on borrowed time, than in 12 weeks I am going to do something and I am going to meet somebody that will change my life and my priorities forever, no return possible.

Oh God.

How exhilarating!

How scary!

Diana

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